Quotes

“If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things.”
–Norman Douglas

I thought that it would be nice to end this section with this particular quote, especially since we are currently “celebrating” the Christmas season. It is amazing how obsessed parents are with obtaining the latest toys for their children. Children, in turn, see this, and turn into adults that want the latest toys for themselves.

While I am not opposed to getting toys for kids, I think that everything should be done in moderation. In order for children to experience the creative process, they need to have time to play, pretend, and explore. While some toys can be tools to enhance this process, many toys are mindless, and accomplish nothing but wasting time. Even as children get older, it is important for them to engage in the creative process so that they can discover themselves and their talents.

Would you agree or disagree?

“What a child does not receive, he can seldom later give.”
–P. D. James

I would add “with the exception of money and other material possessions.” After all, part of the American dream for many, is to be off better financially when compared to their parents. There are countless examples of people who have risen above their penniless childhood to become rich.

One common thread among an overwhelming majority of the rags-to-riches people is that there was someone in their life who played an exceptional role in their upbringing despite their unfortunate circumstances. These role models provided that “special something” that the individual had never experienced. This, in turn, enabled the child to recognize their full potential and rise above their circumstances.

What can you give to a child that will enable them to give back?

“If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.”
–Rachel Carson

I chose this quote not only for its content, but for the author as well. If you have not read Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, I would highly recommend it. She played in instrumental role in making people aware of the danger of pesticides, and is an eloquent writer.

But I digress! This is a wonderful quote, and is sure to be greatly appreciated by teachers and homeschooling parents. Many parents will also find the value of taking the time to appreciate the sense of wonder our children have. I think that it is very difficult to keep this sense of wonder alive as our children grow up and are pressured to get good grades and do well on standardized tests. Although these things are important, we also need to show our children how exciting it can be to discover something without a textbook by truly living life.

Would you agree or disagree?

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.”
–Garrison Keillor

I am back from vacation! It was a lot of fun. Now, it is time for some more quotes!

I do not completely agree with this quote. With a proper upbringing, it is possible to raise children who do not take their parents or elders for granted. I have a friend who is a parent to two teenagers, and their relationship is remarkable. Both of the kids are popular among their peers, and they still treat their parents with respect in front of their friends.

In many cases, however, the awkward teenage years results in something different, which is described in this quote. Sometimes, it even happens at a younger age. Why do you think this is?

“There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.”
–Hodding Carter

I think that this quote is really great, and helps to boil down many of the dilemmas we face as parents. What is the best way to provide both roots and wings for our children?

There are some obvious answers. For example, we need to teach them the importance of family, and respect, and any other values a particular family unit finds important (ie. cultural and spiritual roots). On the other hand, we also need to teach them how to be independent thinkers, and provide them with the tools they need to succeed in the world on their own.

In my opinion, these days many children are going without either roots or wings. We see quality family time decreasing due to hectic schedules. There is such a focus on grades that independent thinking is being lost in many of our schools. Many argue that classes that would greatly benefit our youngsters, such as ones in personal finance, are needed to help them avoid some of the financial mistakes parents made.

I think that although kids are pretty resilient, we need to be aware of what we can to as parents in developing both their roots and their wings. Would you agree or disagree?

“It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation.”
–John Gray

What a wonderful, concise quote! I agree 110%. These days, it is so easy for parents to avoid interacting with their children by providing them with toys and gadgets to keep them entertained. In addition, spoiling children with material possessions sends them the wrong message (as can be seen by the large cars and houses that are prevalent everywhere!).

This isn’t to say that we cannot give our children things, as mentioned in the quote. However, they need to appreciate these gifts and the hard work we put in as parents so that they can have these things. Also, helping our children distinguish between wants and needs is very important.

As parents, we also need to be role models for our children - how important are material possessions in our lives? How often do they see us giving away things to the less fortunate, or volunteering, or just taking the time to make a positive difference in another person’s life?

“Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built.”
–Dr. James C. Dobson

Children are a lot of work. We provide them with shelter, food, clothing, and other essentials, but there is so much more to it. Showing our children love and affection every day is so important to their well-being and confidence. This isn’t to say that we need to spoil our children - for me, sometimes the best form of love is discipline.

For me, one of the hardest things as a parent is giving my kid the right foundation of values. There is the world that we want to live in, and reality. I want to teach my kid to be kind, but also not be taken advantage of. I want to teach him to love everyone, but to realize that there are some people that you need to be very careful of. These are the things that I grapple with on a daily basis.

He can always be sure that his parents will love him unconditionally though!

“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn’t been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”
–Pablo Casals

I think that this is a beautiful quote. Whether we tell them directly, or let them know through our actions (preferably both!), children need to know how special they are.

It’s very important that we choose our actions carefully, however. There are too many children in this country who associate material possessions with their self-worth. For me, a kind word, or some quality time with my son does wonders in communicating to him that he is important to me. When it comes to material things, both my husband and I make sure that the gifts are few and far between. He doesn’t expect anything when he goes into the store, for example.

Just keeping in mind that any child should never be taken for granted will help us all to lead better lives. What do you think?

“While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.”
–Angela Schwindt

We all need to slow down a bit and absorb this quote. I think that part of the problem in society today is that we aren’t taking enough time to learn from our kids. I’m not saying that we all need to act like immature children, but we do need to slow down and take the time to appreciate what wonderful gifts they are and their sense of wonder.

I see a lot of kids these days who are another task on their parents to-do list. Drop off the kid at daycare on the way to work, pick the kid up, feed them, and put them to bed. Lather, rinse, and repeat. I understand that people have hectic, busy schedules, but we need to slow down enough to take even the smallest amounts of time to listen and appreciate our little ones. Sing a song with the kids on the way to daycare, or ask them about their day on the way home. Read an extra story at bedtime. Just showing kids that we care can mean so much to them.

They’ll learn about life soon enough - too soon, in the opinion of some.

“If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.”
–Pearl S. Buck

As a member of the “sandwich” generation, where it is more common to be caring for both children and elders at the same time, I feel that America has already failed us to some degree. My mom is worrying about Social Security being there for her, my grandmother is using her Social Security to budget to the nearest dollar, and my expectation is that I won’t be getting Social Security at all. With enough time to plan for retirement, I am fine. But my parents and grandparents deserve to not have to worry so much.

And that’s just us older folks! With the ballooning costs of higher education, I don’t see things looking brighter for my young son. And my son is so blessed. He has health care, food on the table, warm clothes to wear, and a caring family. He even has a college fund! But many of his little friends are not so lucky.

I think that the American dream is failing our children. A large house and new cars are nice, but this form of the American dream is leaving out all of the quality time that our children need. Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I think a return to simpler times where we live more modestly would benefit our children most!